


letter from the side character

by neptuneleo



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Confessions, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Gentle Kissing, Heavy Angst, Letters, Love Confessions, Love Letters, Multi, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Pining, Possibly Unrequited Love, Unrequited Crush, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-20
Updated: 2020-10-20
Packaged: 2021-03-08 17:42:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,604
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27060655
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/neptuneleo/pseuds/neptuneleo
Summary: “Dear Iwaizumi Hajime,How are you? I hope you’re doing alright. It’s been a while since we’ve spoken. Hajime, Hajime, Hajime. Was I ever something to you? You were pretty under the moon, stars, the deep blue sky. Did you know that, Hajime? I wish I had the chance to tell you that again and again so you wouldn’t forget your worth, you dumb silly idiot. I wish I had stayed, but I wanted you to hold me back. I’m the one with regrets but I couldn’t be selfish. Not when it came to you. Why would you ever kiss me when your heart was meant for someone else?”
Relationships: Iwaizumi Hajime & Oikawa Tooru, Iwaizumi Hajime & Reader, Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru, Iwaizumi Hajime/Reader
Comments: 1
Kudos: 12





	letter from the side character

It was at 4 am. You didn’t know if it was your messed up sleep schedule or your thoughts keeping you awake. You got up from your bed, no longer attempting to fall asleep. Instead, you decided to write someone a letter. 

**“Dear Iwaizumi Hajime,**

You smiled to yourself when you wrote down his name. It felt like it was just yesterday when you realized you had a silly crush on him. 

**“How are you? I hope you’re doing alright. It’s been a while since we’ve spoken.”**

You continued, with a pretty cliche opening, you thought to yourself; but you were too tired to think of ways you could make the letter interesting. However, your pen stopped moving when you started to remember how you told yourself to never write a letter to him. Your smile faded and your excitement died down. It certainly has been a while since you’ve thought of him. 

**“Hajime, Hajime, Hajime.”**

You wrote as you chanted his name in your head. 

**“Was I ever something to you?”**

You still remembered the very first time you encountered him. The spiky hair and the dark emerald eyes made an impression on you when he offered to help you hold a pile of books. “It looks heavy,” he said, in the gentlest voice you’ve heard. You knew the books weren’t heavy.

You remembered how you wanted an excuse to talk to him; to become his friend. “What’s your name?” you asked, very bold coming from someone as shy and timid as you. “Iwaizumi. Iwaizumi Hajime. What about you?” But like the little sneaky liar you were, you already knew that information. 

Everyone in school talked about a volleyball star, a popular hottie who went by the name of Oikawa Tooru. As dramatic as it sounded, everyone admired Tooru and some people wanted to date him. But you had your eyes on someone else who walked beside Tooru, basically stuck to the hip; who also played volleyball, Iwaizumi Hajime. He radiated a different energy from Tooru; a firm-yet-caring attitude and you were drawn to it.

Seeing Hajime up close nearly made you faint.

“Here, catch,” Hajime tossed a boxed milk in your direction. It was your favorite flavor. “How did you know?” you said as you poked a straw into the drink. “I had to ask your friends. You don’t mind, do you?”

_Silly Hajime. I hate how you can make my heart skip. ___

__You started to hang out with Hajime more and more often; sharing laughs and giggles, talking about volleyball, just anything that happened on the day or random things that came to mind._ _

__You enjoyed his company._ _

__And he did yours._ _

__

__**“You were pretty under the moon, stars, the deep blue sky.”** _ _

__You thought Hajime looked adorable in glasses; the ones with round frames made him look like a hot nerd. You couldn’t say that out loud, of course. Not when he’d caught you staring at him._ _

__“Hey, focus,” he whispered as he hit you with a rolled-up book. Right. Hajime offered to tutor you on a subject you found hard to understand. Maybe it was twice as bad now that you’re losing track of what he was saying and daydreaming about the person sitting in front of you._ _

__“You look cute with glasses,” you said out loud._ _

__Instead of lecturing you for not listening to him for the past few minutes, he looked to his right and covered his face. You saw red seep through his cheeks and ears. You blushed when you realized what you’d said._ _

__“Well,” he mumbled, “you look cute with or without glasses too…” He didn’t have to respond with that. Just the both of you, a flustered mess, in the school library that smelled like old books. You wished it would never end._ _

__“Say, wanna go to the firework festival?”_ _

__

__When you told Hajime you didn’t have anything nice to wear to the festival, he said you could wear whatever. You wanted to impress him though. You borrowed clothes from your friends, wore shoes you’d never touched since the day you bought them. He promised to pick you up at 7 pm, you got ready an hour early. To your surprise, he reached early and was well dressed as well._ _

__“I thought you were going to turn up in flip flops and a casual tee,” you teased. “I’m not gonna look sloppy in front of my date,” he said as he nervously rubbed his nape. “Shall we?” he smiled and held your hand in his as he guided you to the festival. You snapped back to reality and quickened your steps to walk by his side._ _

__**“Did you know that, Hajime?”** _ _

__You playfully smacked Hajime’s hand when he offered to buy you things. You said you could pay for it yourself. He pouted, having hoped you would let him buy you food. It worked, I mean; how could you resist those eyes?_ _

___That’s cheating, Hajime. You meany. ____ _

____Both of you shared takoyaki after he hurriedly pulled you away from the crowds and showed you his favorite spot. Crickets were around and a few people chattering in the background. The night was cold, contrasting the piping hot takoyaki in your mouths._ _ _ _

____You sit a little closer to him._ _ _ _

____“Ah!” he said, startling you as you munched on food in silence. “The fireworks have started.” A beautiful ray of colors bloomed in the night sky, hues of radiant reds, purples, and yellows decorated Hajime’s skin._ _ _ _

____Hajime pointed at the fireworks in the distance, but you stared at his hand._ _ _ _

____“What are you—”, Hajime yelped when you caught him off guard as you put your head on his shoulder. “Can we stay like this for a while?” you muttered. Hajime nodded._ _ _ _

____ _ _

____**“I wish I had the chance to tell you that again and again so you wouldn’t forget your worth, you dumb silly idiot.”** _ _ _ _

____ _ _

____You watched Hajime getting busier and busier with volleyball and studies. He told you he had to go to nationals and ace his entrance exams for university. You supported him all the way._ _ _ _

____You brought him bread when you came to see him practice. He was good at spiking and receiving, you noticed, despite getting distracted every few minutes when he decided to lift his shirt to wipe his sweat, revealing his abs._ _ _ _

____ _ _

____There was a loud thump as the ball hit the floor. Captain Oikawa Tooru failed to receive the ball. Seijoh lost the round while the orange black jersey team was in the finals. The crowd went wild, the Seijoh cheer team had not been expecting the loss and had gone quiet. Your eyes instantly located Hajime, who had his head tilted down. It wasn’t clear enough for you to see but you knew he was crying. You wanted to comfort him; to tell him that you were there for him._ _ _ _

____You also knew Hajime would blame himself for his team’s loss._ _ _ _

____You let Hajime go home with his friends and teammates; you felt like it was the best thing to do. How could someone like you who had been watching from the sidelines possibly know how it felt like to lose the match? But in fact, you did. You knew how much it meant to Hajime to win._ _ _ _

____Hajime promised to make it up to you the next day. He said he needed to take his mind off things for a bit. He lied. You knew how stubborn Hajime was when he had forgotten all about the date and was studying hard in the library where you found him. You didn’t get mad at him. Instead, your lips curled upwards as you saw Hajime trying hard to focus, eyebrows and nose scrunched._ _ _ _

____“I found you,” you said as you set your books down across from where Hajime was sitting. “I bet someone’s forgotten something.” Hajime looked at you, his eyebrows still furrowed until he remembered what he had promised you. He cursed under his breath and apologized for forgetting his promise. You told him not to worry about it._ _ _ _

____You stayed in the library after school to keep Hajime company. You had your own exams to worry about after all. “What are you gonna do after high school?” you asked out of curiosity. “An athlete trainer,” he responded without hesitation, “I’m going overseas to study.”_ _ _ _

_____“Oh.” ____ _ _ _

______You stayed silent with millions of thoughts running through your mind. Hajime stayed silent too. He knew that would mean separation for both of you._ _ _ _ _ _

______You stood up from your seat, hung your head, and told Hajime that he should chase after his dreams or else he would have regrets. You left the library without another word with tears streaming down your face._ _ _ _ _ _

______Hajime didn’t try to stop you. It would’ve hurt more if he did._ _ _ _ _ _

______ _ _ _ _

______**“I wish I had stayed, but I wanted you to hold me back. I’m the one with regrets but I couldn’t be selfish. Not when it came to you.”** _ _ _ _ _ _

______ _ _ _ _

______Hajime still visited the gym from time to time to play volleyball and you would watch from a distance. He probably liked volleyball more than he liked you. But you were more than okay with that fact. You enjoyed seeing him happy. He gave his juniors advice while patting them on their backs. You could tell why he was so respected in school._ _ _ _ _ _

______You disappeared from his sight every time he tried to greet you, hoping to slowly let go of this crush you have on him. It would be less painful, you thought._ _ _ _ _ _

______While Hajime got frustrated._ _ _ _ _ _

______ _ _ _ _

______He grabbed your hand after he managed to chase after you when you were running away from him. He dragged you back into the gym, into the storage room where it was empty._ _ _ _ _ _

______He pinned you against a wall, still panting from before. You couldn’t help but notice the beads of sweat on his face._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Did.. did I upset you or something?” he said as he looked into your eyes._ _ _ _ _ _

______You tried to avoid eye contact but Hajime lifted your chin to get an honest answer from you._ _ _ _ _ _

______He was a little too close for comfort. You shook your head while you bit your lips._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Was it because I forgot our date the other day or was it because I told you I was leaving Japan after graduation?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______It was a little bit of both but you didn’t want Hajime to purposely make time for you. That would be annoying._ _ _ _ _ _

______**“Why would you ever kiss me when your heart was meant for someone else?”** _ _ _ _ _ _

______Your eyes widened when you felt soft lips on yours. Hajime was kissing you so gently and you swore you would have melted under his touch right then and there. You debated whether to return the kiss._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Fuck, sorry I shouldn’t have done that.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Hajime was about to walk away but you pulled him back and kissed him. This time longer, while both of you were filled with a hunger for each other._ _ _ _ _ _

______If only time could stop itself, you wouldn’t have to worry about the future._ _ _ _ _ _

______“We shouldn’t be doing this.” Hajime pushed you away by your shoulders. When you asked why, he gave you a simple response that made you cry._ _ _ _ _ _

_______“I like someone else.” ____ _ _ _ _ _

________ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“I thought we were more than friends,” your voice cracked from trying to choke back a sob. Hajime stood still._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“You’re in love with him, aren’t you?” Anger starts to stir up in your chest. “Who are you talking about?” Hajime stammered._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“It’s so obvious, Hajime. The one who calls you Iwa-chan, the one you play volleyball with, the one who you grew up with, the one you go home with, the one who isn’t me.” You took in a deep breath after finishing your sentence._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“it’s Tooru-kun, isn’t it?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“How did you find out? I never told anyone about it.” Hajime said, still looking at the ground with balled-up fists._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________You gritted your teeth in frustration. He was still asking about Tooru when you were right in front of him, hurting._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________You inhaled the tense air once more before showing Hajime a smile that didn’t quite reach your eyes._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Haha, someone’s got a crush. When did you realize it?” you said, attempting to change the topic._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Not sure. Probably after the volleyball match a few weeks ago.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________You hummed as a response to Hajime’s confession. You lazily tapped him on the shoulder as you passed by him on the way to the door of the storage room._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Hey, Hajime. Can we pretend like this never happened?” you said while gripping the doorknob tightly._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“I’m sorry.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Mmmm. Don’t apologize. It was stupid of me to fall for you. I shouldn’t have assumed things.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Hajime opened his mouth to say something but ended up speechless._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“From now on, we are just two individuals in Aoba Johsai, okay? Farewell, Iwaizumi-san.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________You exited the gym and never looked back._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________ _ _ _ _ _ _

________You had to avoid certain places like the tiny spot beside the vending machines where you both used to sit, the library where you both talked a little too excitedly, to the extent where the librarians had to calm you down._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Hajime called you on your phone multiple times, left a few text messages from time to time to check up on you. You never responded though._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________I mean, how could you possibly face him again; after severing ties of your friendship with Hajime?_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Hajime eventually stopped texting you. You eventually stopped crying yourself to sleep every time you thought about him._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Slowly, you had a life without Hajime and Hajime had a life without you._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________ _ _ _ _ _ _

________**“I never told you how I knew you liked Tooru-kun. Do I really need to spell it out for you, Hajime?** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________**From the very first day we met, you were startled when I asked for your name instead of asking if Tooru-kun was interested in dating someone or not.** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________**You talked about him more than you realize. You would make jokes about how you would wanna kick Tooru-kun’s ass when he overworks himself. You told me how much you played volleyball and growing up with Tooru-kun. You loved volleyball so all I had to do was connect the dots.** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________**I really liked how you asked my friends what kind of milk I liked. I appreciated that. Too bad Tooru-kun and I shared a favorite flavor. What a coincidence, huh?** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________**Do you know how much it stung when I saw you giving Tooru-kun the milk bread I baked for you? Of course not, my bad.** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________**I was there for you when you were studying hard so you wouldn’t feel lonely because Tooru-kun was smart enough to not study for upcoming tests. You said you didn’t need his help like the stubborn person you are, but that was what I liked about you. Reliable and responsible.** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________**I liked the fireworks you showed me, the delicious takoyaki you shared with me. You looked good that day but, then again, you look good every other day.** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________**I miss you. I miss our friendship so so much. I’m sorry I left without a goodbye, I’m sorry I fell in love with you.** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________**Thank you for the best last-year-in-highschool experience. Thank you for teaching me bits and pieces of volleyball. Thank you for letting me in your life.** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________**After all this time, I’m still in love with you. Would you ever forgive me for that?** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________**You deserve Tooru-kun’s love and I have no right to take that away from you. Send my greetings to him if you ever receive this letter.** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________**Thank you for the invite to the wedding, Hajime.** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________**Congrats on getting married.”** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________ _ _ _ _ _ _

**Author's Note:**

> there are a few errors in the format; sorry for that. my 3 am thoughts wouldn't leave me alone so I'm sharing this pain with all of you seeing this. with all seriousness, thank you for reading till the end and have a great day.


End file.
